Friday, 31 January 2014

Adam & Eve

I’m a creator.

You could call me a bar tender, but really, I’m a creator.

After you and your buddies piss off home after closing, I sit around with Smithie there and we dream up new cocktails and drinks to try out on you unsuspecting idiots.

Sometimes they work and you have a great time, while other times they don’t and you’re sick as a dog that night.

Or you cause a huge fight.

Or worse still, your friends cart you off home because you’ve passed out in the toilets.

But tonight, we cooked a great brew. 

It was pure.

Unadulterated, and sexy.

Rude in every single way possible.

Knocked us both off our feet after two martini glass-fulls, and yet we still had a full shaker of the shit left.

We called it Adam & Eve.

Adam & Eve was made from Bourbon, a shot of Southern Dragon’s Tear’s (these are rare an expensive), a sage leaf, ground up apple seeds, nutmeg and – to make it look naughty – a cherry on a toothpick.  Yep, Smithie and I had a great time trying to finish off Adam & Eve; but something strange happened after our first drink.

Something weird.

The place changed – and not in a good way.

The huge speakers by the stage turned into Hell Hounds.  They were huge, black, salivating and clawing at the ground to get to our souls.  Smithie stood up too quickly and knocked over his bar stool and he kept his eyes glued to the speaker. 

“Hey, mate, it’s not real.” I reminded him.

“Like fuck it’s not!” he slurred.

Leaning across the bar, I slapped his face hard and he stared at me, then back at the stage where the large speaker was itself again, “There see, Smithie, it’s a speaker, not a Hell Hound.”

“I think it’s time to go home.” He frowned, “That drink was too fuckin’ weird for me.”

I nodded, “Yeah, don’t we both know it?”

We tossed out the rest of the first lot of Adam & Eve we made, locked up the club and walked out to the car park as the sunrise was just starting to break over the sky.  I loved this time of the day normally… but today, I saw demons filling every shadow.

Exactly what did I put in that drink that had put me on edge?  Turning, I was about to ask Smithie, but he was in the nearest garden being attacked by a Hell Hound – the same one that was eying him off in the club!

“Je-zuz!  You guys were real?”

“Of course they were.” A voice said behind me, “Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Adam… and this…” he turned to his right as a woman stepped out of the darkness, “…is Eve.”

“But I created a drink.” I said, “I didn’t summon you guys.”

“You created the first drink of its kind… something biblical.” He smiled, “You put biblical ingredients into it, so you summoned us into existence.”

“And you called it by our names.” Eve stepped toward me, “How sweet.”

I stepped back, “What do you want.”

Adam looked around, “Well, you called us… the Hell Hounds have taken the first sacrifice.  To keep your end of the deal up, and everyone happy, we need more.”

“Sacrifice… deal?” I had no idea what they were on about.

“Of course.  You struck a deal with us; keep your end of the deal and your little place will prosper.” Adam smiled.

“Fail us, and it will rot.” Eve’s smug face stepped closer.

“No business is worth that.”

He put his arm around my shoulders, “Not even if it means losing your soul over?”

Three months have passed.

Nobody visits my place anymore and I’m still trying to create the perfect drink... it’s the drink to send those two bastards back to where they came from.

I pray to God.

I have tried to talk to the Angels to help me.

Nobody answers my calls.

Smithie is a servant of theirs now, and he doesn’t seem to be anything but a brainless zombie who I can’t kill no matter how much I try.  And now, it’s time to pull out the last resort I’ve got:  the Glock.  It’s loaded.  I lodge it under my jaw as tears course down my cheeks…

My eyes snap open and I’m on the floor behind the bar.


Adam’s kneeling over me with the gun in his hand grinning ridiculously, “You didn’t think you’d be let go that easily – did you?” he helped me to my feet as he placed the weapon on the bar, “After all we have your soul, so you can’t do away with yourself… we will just keep on bringing you back.”

“You suck.” I spat.

“Aaw, don’t be mad at us.  Just bring us a sacrifice.” Eve smiled sitting at a table.

Then, it dawned on me.  I walked around the bar, to her table where she was sitting.

Faster than she could react, I pulled the silver knife I had hidden inside my jacket and drove it into her heart, “You want a sacrifice, you’ve got one!”

“No!” I sat up and looked around.

“Hey dude… that drink gave me hallucinations like you wouldn’t believe!” Smithie said to me from across the bar, “How about you?”

“Let’s not make it again… can we forget we ever made it?”

He leaned over and tipped his share of the cocktail into the sink next to me, “No problems.”

“And can I stay at your place tonight?”

“I was going to ask that of you… I got really spooked tonight.” He smiled, “but sure, come back to my place and we’ll drink lots of coffee and watch porn.”

“Dude, sounds like a plan.”

As we walked out into the breaking day, I turn at the sound of what I could only swear was the growling of a dog.  As we get to Smithie’s car, a guy and a girl approach us, “Hi… we’re Adam and Eve.  We’re new in town.”

Friday, 24 January 2014

Little Red Riding Hood - Grimm's Fairytale Retold

Well, it's time for a fairy tale - but not the way you think!  Chuck has asked us to write a Grimm's Fairytale the way we think it should be told; in on of 20 ways... I think I matched mine with Urban Fantasy.

Red hung her mozetta up on the hook by the door, “I’m back!”
“Oh, good.” Her Grandma’s voice was so musical, “Did you happen to buy the fresh parsley, Red?”
“Yes, it was on sale.” She picked up the elephant grass basket from beside the door filled with fresh fruit and veggies and pocketed her car keys as she walked through the small house.  Her Grandmother was the only person in her life now her folks were gone; killed in a freak plane crash over Greece some years back now.
“Wonderful.” The old woman turned from her stove with her famous apron on, “Just put that basket on the chair there, and… oh, doesn’t it all look lovely!”
Grandma always had her hair set in tight curls and her plump body made her appear clumsy, but she was anything but!  Red loved her Grandmother dearly and they both enjoyed being around each other; so the young woman spent a lot of time with her grandparent, now she was widowed.
“I only get the best for you.”
She gave her grand-daughter a tight, wicked grin, winking, “You don’t have to, you know.”
“I know, but I want to.” Red sat down at the counter as she poured herself a mug of tea from the large kettle and settled in and watched her Grandma cook them both dinner for the night.

A few days passed by and Red hadn’t heard from her Grandma.  So, she thought to pop by her house on the way home from work.  She pulled up in the little driveway in her red Fiat that lunch time and found the house locked up tight.
This wasn’t like her Grandmother at all.
So, she found the key in her glove compartment she always kept with her for the place and approached the house, opened the door and called out, “Hello?  Grandma?”
“I’m here dear…” a shaky voice called from upstairs.
“Oh, shit.” She mumbled rushing up the steps to her Grandmother’s bedroom, thinking the worse… she had pictures of her dear Grandma in a crumpled heap in the bathtub, next to her bed, unable to get out of her bed! 
Red didn’t know which was worse!
As she turned the corner and into the bedroom, she found a gun in her face of an intruder, “Crap!”
“Well, hello there.” His voice was deep, like a wolf’s growl, “I didn’t know Grammie had relatives.”
“Please don’t hurt her, she’s all I’ve got.” Red begged, “She’s my only relative alive.” Tears welled in her eyes, blurring her vision as she crumbled in front of the man, “And I’m all she’s got.”
Doubt clouded his face for a moment – and a moment is all she needed – as Red race forward and shoved the muzzle of the gun up to the ceiling!  The intruder pulled the trigger, making it fire! 

From the street, Hunter heard a shot from Mrs. Gardner’s house.  He spotted Red’s Fiat parked in the driveway and the front door wide open.  Something was wrong.  He race across the road as he pulled out his phone and called the police for help, then sneaked inside hoping to surprise whoever it was holding a gun to both the ladies.

“Now, sit down and shut up!” the man shouted levelling his gun at both women.  He glared at Red, “That wasn’t a smart move.  You made me waste a round.” As he turned, he was confronted by Hunter standing directly behind him, “Who the hell are you?”
“Actually, I think it was a very smart move.” He smiled, “That shot caught my attention.  And who am I?” he pulled out his badge, “I’m a cop.”
The intruder tried to push him out of the way, but Hunter was faster by none as he quickly disarmed the man, punching him hard, catching his gun and letting him fall to the floor as the sounds of the sirens began to fill the air from outside.
“Hunter, how good is it to see you.” Grandma sighed, “Have you met my grand-daughter?”
“I’ve seen you around, Red, but we haven’t officially met.” He smiled as he stayed with the two ladies while the other police personnel carted the intruder away, “We’ll need a statement down at the station.”
“I can give one to you right now.” Grandma sniffed, “That rotten little rodent kicked my door in, thinking I wasn’t home, then when he found I was, he accosted me!” she sighed, “Thank goodness Red happened by when she did, but she nearly became a casualty too.”
Red held her Grandmother’s hand, “Then, I did a dumb thing and jumped at an armed person…” she shook her head as she looked down, then smiled looking up at Hunter, “And then, Hunter, you came along.”
Red hadn’t realised just how hot this guy was!
“Say…” he smiled after all the police business had been over and done with, “What are you doing tomorrow night?”
Grandma Gardner smiled from her kitchen sink as she watched the day turn to night, listening to the two of them chat at the door, “What a lovely man he is.”
“Well, nothing… why?”
“Want to catch some dinner and a movie?” he asked.

Friday, 17 January 2014

Hotel California

I hate living here.

I hate it because I know everyone’s business, but they know nothing about me.  So, I keep to myself; and that’s how I know all about them.  From the moment people move into this trailer park, I know stuff about them; from that very first trailer near the gate to the last one down near the trawlers, it’s downright creepy what I know about people around here.

But it’s a friggin’ conspiracy.

This place is a one-stop-shop for anyone who wants to hide from their life… or any life they don’t want to go back to.  Honestly, it is. 

Even though it’s got a cheery, pretty little exterior, it’s got it’s creepy shit going down every day of the week.  And I mean, Orson’s Creek isn’t your run of the mill fishing village where you’d drop in for lunch or stay here for a few weeks… it’s a tooty-fruity place where you slow down to look at it for a few moments, just to stick to the speed limit and then plant the damned foot and get the hell outa here before your car konks out!

And that’s happened before too… it really has.

I’ve seen it. 

It happened to me… this is why I’m here.

I can’t get out.

Every morning, I have a good look around this place and have a look at the residents.  There’s Merv who has a large fishing boat tripped out to the gills with everything on it you’d ever want to take it out onto the water… but he never goes.  Merv gets horribly sea sick and hasn’t been fishing since he arrived six years ago; and yet he complains his wife doesn’t let him go.  And all she does is read.

Anderson is a gardener – or so he says – and yet his trailer is surrounded by nothing but dead plants in planters.  He’ll go out to the nursery down the road and get more, but then he lets them die within weeks of getting them.

My neighbour, Melissa, loves to cook… and yet burns her dinner each and every night, without fail.  She sets off her smoke alarm in her trailer at 6pm on the dot (yeah, you can set your watch by her). 

But today, somebody new arrived.  I could feel them before sunrise simply walk into the trailer park. 

Yes, they were new… different.

Unusual and…

I’m not sure what they were doing here.

In the predawn light, I found them by the water with their luggage sitting by them.  They watched the polluted water of the creek flow by waiting for the rundown kiosk to open when they saw me approach.

“Hi.” She said.

A witch.

“Hi.” I said, “You’re a witch.”

Smiling she nodded, “You’re very good…what are you doing in this place?  It’s cursed.”

“My car broke down three years ago and it’s been in the shop since.” I said, “How did you get here?”

She rose to her feet effortlessly, “I go where I’m needed… and I’m needed here.” She put her hand out, “I’m Lucy.”

The moment I touched her hand, I knew everything about her,  “Hi…” looking up at her, I knew we were totally screwed!

She grinned, “I shouldn’t have touched you.”

“You’re not needed here.” I tried to pull away.

She yanked me toward her, “Oh, but I need a sacrifice to keep this place exactly the way it is…”

I shook my head gritting, “No…”

“Oh… but yes.” She pulled a knife swiftly and stabbed my palm straight through, “No screaming now.” And at her command, my throated locked up, but my expression of agony stretched my face down as tears blurred my vision, “I just need your blood.”

“Stop it, Lucy!” a voice shouted to my right, “Not hers.”

She looked up, “Why not?”

“She’s a psychic… it’s wrong… and you’ll make her go crazy.”

I looked over and saw Merv standing there.  My voice unlocked itself as the let my hand go, and I managed to whisper his name, “What’s going on?”

He took my hand, ran his fingers over it muttering something under his breath and the bleeding stopped, “You are here for a reason… and we all are too.”

I stared at my hand, amazed that he healed it, then looked up at him, “What’s going on here?”

“My name isn’t Merv… It’s Merlin the Great Mage.” He smiled, “And everyone here in the trailer park come here to stay – to live – because it’s a haven, a last resort, to hide from the rest of the world.”

“Well, yes, I know.” I said, “I have seen this in them all… except you.” I said.

He smiled, “I didn’t want to freak you out with my true form.”

“Merv… Merlin… whoever you are… what’s the big conspiracy about this trailer park?” I asked, “Who is this Lucy who wanted to do a blood spell so strong it was going to kill me?”

He gazed over at her as she glanced bashfully as her feet, “We really should let her in on the secrets, right?”

“Yes, indeed.” He nodded smiling, “It’s been long enough. Orsons’s Creek isn’t a horrible place… it’s a hidden place for people of magicks to pass through, enjoy or live here.” He said, “However, if you don’t have magicks, it becomes a horrible place and it drives you insane.”

I look around, “But how come I can only see it as a dark place?”  

He touched my forehead with his index finger gently, “Because you weren’t ready for its true form yet; not until today.”

Blinking I saw the gorgeous sun break over the horizon in such a way as I’d never seen before here.  The creek was sparkling, clear and filled with life as birds flew over its surface! 

I turned to look at them, “Isn’t that gorgeous?”

The nurse looked up from her book as I spoke, “What, did you say something, Lucy?”

I smiled, “Look at that?”

She pulled out her phone, dialled a number, “Yes, doctor, she’s back with us again...” tears filled her eyes, “… after three years, Lucy has found her way back to us.”