Saturday, 24 February 2018

Into The Raw

Chuck has put up 10 titles, and asked us to pick one. Now, my folks are in the throws of selling their house, and I thought to jump into the one which jumped at me first. This one is a little naughty, but I thought it was fun!


“Are we allowed to take our belongings with us?” I looked around our living room and found I had that inane attachment to my furniture I had promised myself I would never get.
“Of course.” Edward smiled, “You’re going into another estate, not off the grid.”
“Right, right.” My husband nodded, grimly reading over the contract again, “But it’s just that it’s so different to how we live now.”
“In the middle of the city amongst the pollution, traffic noise and so very close to everyone around you?” he looked around as a police screamed down the street, “Oh yeah, who’d want to leave all this?” he fidgeted in his suit, “Look, you’ll have an acre of land to yourself, with a gorgeous house on it, and your things will come with you. It’s going to have electricity, hot and cold running water and all the mod-cons. The only thing you’ll be away from is the city.” He sat back in the seat, “You’ll be free to do as you please.”

Roger and I exchanged glances.

This was exactly the type of life we had been wanting for a long time.

We both worked from home; and we rarely went out anymore to buy food or socialise – or well, do anything.

Yes, computers and the internet was a huge thing in our lives.

Thanks to verbal commands, everything changed in modern homes. Our stoves turned on by themselves, there’s no light switches, our televisions will change channels when we ask them to and our house actually has a ‘Holiday Mode’ for the lights when we go on away for more than three days.

But, it’s getting to a point where Roger and I have lost our way.

I love him dearly, but really, when we enter the room at the same time, we just seem to look at each other in wonderment – as though we’ve never met before... and we’ve been married for over a decade.
Yes, we’ve lost touch with the small things about each other.
So, we have decided to move out into the new estate called ‘Raw’ and it’s exactly what it means – we go out into the raw elements of the country and start our lives again.

I work from home; and Roger does too.

We learn how to work a good-sized piece of land, and learn about animals.

And the best thing is that we learn about ourselves and each other – we learn about how and why we’re together; and if we want to be with each other for the next decade.

This means we sell up and move everything there.

On the day of the move, we arrived at the house before our furniture at daybreak and watched the sunrise together over the ridge. We were truly alone for the first few hours and totally enjoyed our time there looking around the place – and it was a huge place!
As the sun warmed the valley below, I spotted a car and two trucks snaking along the road towards our house: one was Edward’s car and the two trucks had our furniture in it. We had been told to pack our clothes and some of the things we just couldn’t live without into a U-Haul and arrive early – and we did.
Edward pulled into the driveway, followed by the two trucks, which pulled up and opened the backs. He got out of his car and smiled, “Sorry we’re late, but the drivers got lost.”
“Lost? You said to be here early.” Roger said.
“Oh yeah, I did.” He smiled, “Did you unpack your U-Haul?”
“Yeah... we did.” I nodded, “It’s ready for you to take back.”
Everything was unpacked and put into all the right rooms. Nothing was broken and we were left alone at our new house. It took about three weeks for us to put things where we wanted them, and settle in.

One morning, Roger stood at the wardrobe looking in at his clothes, holding onto his garden shirt, “There’s really nobody around.”
“What do you mean?” I turned to him.
“We have an acre of land at the top of a mountain ridge, and have this place to ourselves.” He hung up the shirt again, “Has it crossed your mind why it’s called Raw?”
“Not really. Just that we’re out in the middle of country in the raw countryside, and that’s the meaning of it.” I smiled, “I didn’t really read into it.”
“We can get around with nothing on if we wish.” He rushed from the bedroom and to the home office and dug out the contract, reading it, “Yeah, it says here: ‘... not only are you in the raw of the countryside, but you’re far enough away from everything to be your true self.’” He looked up at me, “It’s practically encouraging us to strip off.”
“It doesn’t mean we have to.” I turned back to our bedroom shaking my head, but I heard him put back the paperwork and head downstairs in his birthday suit, “My god, he’s nuts on toast.” Pulling open the wardrobe, I pulled out a nice dress and looked at my underwear. Ditching the underwear, I pulled on the dress and went downstairs to join my husband for breakfast.
“Aaw, come on.” He teased, “It’s fun.”
I smiled a little, “No. I’ve still got my dignity; but you can get around like a Neanderthal if you wish, just remember to shower at the end of the day.” He headed outside with his cup of coffee and sat down in a chair, where I went to join him, but found him standing at the back door, “Hey, you okay, Rog?”
He turned and looked at me, “I thought I could do this.”
“Stand out there in the buff?” I grinned, “Of course you can.”
Doubt crossed his face: “But what happens if our neighbours are closer than we think?”
I peered through the screen, “Well, we’ll never know until we go out there.”
“But you’re clothed!”

“Am I?” I opened the screen and walked outside where the breeze caught the skirt of my dress and blew it up reminiscent of ‘The Seven Year Itch’.


  1. LOL! I was waiting for the aliens to beam them aboard or something. Just a little running around in the nude...that seems pretty normal. Oops. :D

    1. Well.... I've been creeping people out a bit. Thought a funny, rude'n'nude one would be a good one to get a giggle out of you all.