I was there from the moment of the Big Bang
to the present day; perched right on the Big Guy’s shoulder, whispering in his
ear of what should go where, who was good and bad and… which place should go
where.
Yep, even when this tiny little speck in the
universe was nothing but a revolving, molten rock of crap; I was there watching
on with him.
And he was so fucking proud of this thing…
this third rock from the Sun… this Paradise – he aptly named it. This Earth.
There has been others he has tried to make
perfect – and they have been absolute failures.
You imperfect Humans are finding them dotted all over the place – all
too hot, or too cold – lost in their own piece of Hell, revolving around a
sun.
One is too big and too close to its
sun. Another is too far away from its
sun and too small – so is too cold.
However, I gotta say, the Big Boy got this here little place right!
But I didn’t expect you Humans to be such
assholes once you got your greedy little hands on it.
What?
Excuse me?
You’ve got a nerve calling me such names… I’m just telling you the
truth. After all, you need it.
Your creator of all things great gave you a
home and you’ve done your best to destroy not only it, but yourselves.
Do you have any idea who you’re talking
to? No?
Okay… we were created as protectors – warriors – to watch over your
sorry asses, and we have lived amongst you for centuries on your planet without
your knowledge and yet, some of you seem to think we either don’t exist, or
you’re so big on us existing, you have us all wrong completely.
Besides, we are God’s Keepers really… we
protect him from you, and that’s the reality of it all. You’re nothing but grabby little parasites
and you Humans don’t have any idea how to back off and leave him alone. Yes, yes, I know he’s the Almighty Creator,
but really, do you have to step past us, and lavish all the praise on him?
It’s not jealousy… no it’s not.
Really, I don’t think it is…
He’s been so busy with so many things lately
that I don’t think he can see just one of you; well not today. Well, not ever really. Why do you ask? Oh of course, you have just one question
(which normally turns into more than that).
I’m sorry but you just can’t see him.
No, I insist you can’t… because … because… well dammit he’s not here!
He left us… he’s gone!
Heaven’s empty and I’m his Keeper and I
don’t even know where he is… you happy now?
I don’t know where God is and he left because of you.
Hey, look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t lay the blame on you.
It’s not your fault. I don’t know whose fault it is; really I
don’t. But he just got tired of looking
over a place he had given to you all out of the goodness of his heart for you
to care for… and just look at what you’ve done to it!
War.
Famine.
Hatred.
Lust.
Ego.
Destruction.
You know, I could just smite you all and
start again… yes, you heard me, an Apocalypse would do you all wonders. No, not a zombie or vampire or any other
damned mythical crap thing you’ve made up in your tiny little minds, I mean I
real Apocalypse, one none of you would ever survive!
After all this is all just an experiment.
The third – or was it the fourth – place God
has tried out to make it work for him.
And
just look at you all… still thinking within the confines of your tiny little
minds; instead of taking hold of what He gave you – intuition, your mind power,
your ‘gut feeling’. Yes all of that is
damned well real you know – not just crap you seemed to think is made up.
Some of you have some real power under your
belts… some scary as shit power. But
none of you use it. You’re scared little
children who have no clue exactly how much power he’d bestowed upon you. And when you do figure out that you have some
power within you, what do you do? You
become some greedy puss-sucking pond scum, with your hand out, all ready and
wanting more and more…
…more power and more money.
I ought to…
Oh, Sir, you’re back.
I.. yes, things are completely under
control. I’ve just been answering some
of your prayers of your people while you’ve been out.
Pardon?
Oh… they’re not scared, they’re in awe of you. Hehee… complete awe…
…aren’t you, Humans?
Why are they terrified? Um… well,
I think it’s because I might have been a little impatient with them. I’m sorry, Sir. It most certainly will not happen again –
honest.
But Sir, please… I know I did this before…
but that was over two millennia ago.
These Humans now don’t know that – not until you mentioned it.
I beg of you, take mercy on me… I am your
Keeper… please, Sir. Where are you going
to send me, if not Earth?
Michael?
What are you doing here?
