The Composting Passages of Star Wars

Woah! Chuck has us twisting things around this week! Okay... think of a famous scene in Star Wars of Lord of the Rings or Die Hard and twist it around in a different way, but have it play out the same. Yep, it's same, same - but different! I put two into mine: LOTR's and Star Wars. Dunno if it worked... but it turned out funny I think.

enjoy!

He stood before the massive iron dragon as it was welded by the giant and more of the mountains were removed. The mage shouted above the thundering sounds of everything collapsing around the group of them, “You shall not pass!” has he raised his crooked staff high and struck the only piece of solid ground before him.

“I don’t think they will listen.” Mondo touched his wing gently, “Come, there must be another way.”

The mage half-turned, “No, Mondo, you are our only chance. With that ring, you must make sure it arrives at Mount Doomsdale and destroy it!” he pointed to the piece of foil wrapped tightly around the blue termite’s neck, “You are our only hope.”

He reached up to the foil with two of his feet and stroked it gently, “Yes, it’s my precious… um… yes of course, I must get rid of it.” He turned and regarded his oldest friend – Fargo – the only other blue termite who he’s known since they were larva in the nursery in the older part of The Shire. However, they can no longer go back there because the Old Shire has been destroyed and by the Almighty Humans and replaced with the New Shire – this will take many years to settle again, “Are you with me Fargo?”

“I shall go where you go, Mondo, as far as our feet take us.”

The cavern around them shuddered yet again as the huge iron dragon destroyed yet another section of the Passages of Composting Moira – which weren’t as old as many first thought.

The mage turned back to his task, as the stone in the top of his staff shone brightly at his incantation: “You shall not…” and the huge iron dragon came down and ended his life in a split second!

Mondo and Fargo turned in the other direction as more of the Passages of Composting Moira were destroyed in that last fatal blow by that sweating giant above them all!

It was the last time Mondo or Fargo saw the Mage alive.

Months passed as Mondo and Fargo hid in the pipe next to the large garden ornaments the Sweating Giant had placed around the New Surrounding Middle Earth.

Mondo unrolled the map Fargo brought with him in the moonlight, “I have never seen any of this.”

“Neither have I.”

They looked at each other and realised they may either be charting new territory or … they may be lost!

“Let’s keep on walking and see where it leads us.” Mondo suggested.

It wasn’t long before they came across The Desert Paved. It was named this on the map because from a distance, it looked like flagstones all set up side by side – but up close, it seemed to go on forever.

“Anyone who has attempted to cross this desert has never come back, Mondo.” Fargo touched his friend’s shoulder.

“I know, but I must be rid of this horrid ring before it destroys me forever… please be by my side and help me through this.” Mondo said.

“Of course, why else are we on this quest?”

They set across The Desert Paved side by side.

Soon, they Fargo glanced up and found the thin lines of webs lining the skies. Mondo whispered, “Don’t look up.”

“But the webs…”

“I know.”

“The webs aren’t your only problem.” A dark voice said behind them. Turning, the two termites found two large, black Green Ants had been following them, “You two are not supposed to be here.”

“We just wish to cross The Desert Paved and be on our way.” Mondo said.

“This is our territory and Saucer wants to see you. Guards!”

Mondo and Fargo were soon surrounded by other Green Ants with nowhere to go, but with them as their prisoners.

The small dark room wasn’t underground. The two termites were taken along – forced to walk at a swift pace – to a fence post and pushed to travel up to the top where there was a Green Ants’ Nest in the branches of a tree.

So, the room wasn’t comfortable, as Mondo and Fargo sat on a leaf together in a tiny room awaiting their punishment quietly. The foil ring had been removed from Mondo’s neck and handed to the Queen of this colony - also known as Saucer - and they could hear whispers that she had wanted to see the two immediately.

The door was pulled opened and the large guard grabbed them roughly, shoving them out the door, down the hall and into the Queen’s throne room, where she sat inspecting the ring, “Exactly where do you have to take this?”

“Mount Doomsdale… from what I understand it’s not far from here… a large deep ravine where two mountains meet in a corner, Your Grace.” Mondo said, “So, if I could have that back, we’ll be out of your way.”

“Very well.” She stood and walked to him smiling, “You do look familiar. Have our families met?”

“I believe not.” He shook his head.

“Oh well… never mind.” She looked over at the guard, “Allow them safe passage to Mount Doomsdale, then leave them alone. They may be termites, but they mean no harm.”

“Yes, Your Grace.” The guard bowed.

Soon Mondo and Fargo were outside again with a couple of Green Ants and the Queen’s Guard walking them to the edge of the property line. Mondo had the foil ring about his neck again and Fargo hadn’t said anything since their capture – too terrified to speak in case these ants were hungry for termites (a delicacy to them).

The Queen’s Guard turned as they were about to cross the property line, “I do believe I have visited your Old Shire once – before it was destroyed by The Almighty Humans.” He grinned, “I had me some fun there – you know, in the way of the female termites?” he looked at them both with the blue hue, “It’s the only way a white termite would have blue colour – to be cross-bred with a Green Ant. But then, you wouldn’t know who your father is would you?”

“No. None of us do.” Mondo shook his head.

“How about we walk you most of the way to Mount Doomsdale – just to keep you two safe?” the Queen’s Guard offered.

“Okay.” Fargo whispered.

The group of five had almost arrived at the huge first wall when the Queen’s Guard attacked his own people – killing them in cold blood, mercilessly – and then turned on Mondo and Fargo. As he turned, he found the two termites had armed themselves with Bindi’s – these were prickly and not the nicest things to be shoved with. But the Guard ripped the green prickles from their hands, attacking Fargo, ripping him to shreds in front of Mondo!

“NO!” the blue termite screamed as he found purchase up the vertical surface of the first mountain and started climbing.

The Green Ant guard was faster than him by far, reaching the top by a few seconds and grabbing his first two hands, pulling him up by them… throwing him across the plateau!

“You thought you were going to get away, Mondo! You thought you were special and you could do this without me knowing!” he thundered as rain began to fall through the tree branches above, landing in large spots around them.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I mean getting rid of the ring.” He leaned into his face has he reached for the ring, and yet didn’t touch it, whispering softly – almost personally – to it, “The precious.” It was then that Mondo realised that this guard had touched the ring and it was time to get rid of it. He moved back a little, scrambled a little, but the guard pinned him by his hand hard, “And just where do you think you’re going?”

“Away from you.” He said.

“I want that ring.”

“I’d rather die first before you go anywhere near it.”

At that the Guard winced and backed off, allowing Mondo up, “No. I don’t wish that.”

“Why not? You killed my best friend…”

“Because, Mondo… he wasn’t just your friend… he was your brother.”

This made what the guard did worse, “My God… who are you?”

“I am your father, Mondo.”

“No.”

“Join me… help me overthrow the Queen. We will rule that colony together! I will never be a lowly guard ever again.”

“Never!”

“Son…”

“Don’t call me that! You are not my father. My father is dead!”

“…come to the dark side with me…”