tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5867563067219186778.post659455457704000397..comments2023-05-30T18:20:24.056+10:00Comments on You Can't Go Back - And Other Impossibilities: Losing My MindMozettehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16267731815392625679noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5867563067219186778.post-38540400747138174082017-01-16T15:26:09.463+10:002017-01-16T15:26:09.463+10:00I haven't had a seizure since 24th, April, 200...I haven't had a seizure since 24th, April, 2004. I'm one of the 5% of the Epilepsy patients in Queensland who are allowed to drive a car (so long I have my arm band on, a doctor's certificate and the letter 'M' on my licence - the certificate is reviewed every year). I get my eye sight tested every year in case my medication is making me go blind (it's only one of them that is able to do that) and I'm in constant review with my neurologist. I get blood tests every year to make sure my liver and kidneys are functioning well and that my levels are okay. And I go to a shrink (for my own well-being). <br /><br />There have been times where I've forgotten people's names until somebody said it... because I was too embarrassed to tell them I had forgotten it; and these are people I have known for over 5 years, and they know I forgot as well and laugh it off knowing it's my brain stuffing up.<br /><br />This fear is with me every day. Losing my mind when I get older is something I don't ever wish for because my brother and his family will have to look after me; and I don't want that from him. It'll break his heart to have to do that; as it breaks mine to know he'll have to. But dealing with this kind of condition is an on-going commitment in life... I'm always taking medications, vitamins and minerals, I'm always trying to eat the right food and drink antioxidants so to flush out the unwanted/un-needed medications from the day - so there's no build-up in my system. <br /><br />Life for an Epileptic is complicated. For me, it's not so much because I've been dealing with the condition/disease for so long. But for people who are new to my life, it's huge. It's too much sometimes and very confronting. And part of the disease nobody talks about is right at the end... where the brain starts to wear out from age, the seizures (the dead cells and thousands of dead areas that haven't been able to be reused or rewired again) and just plain old age of the person's organs as well - mainly the heart muscle. Mozettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16267731815392625679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5867563067219186778.post-53201250750307405732017-01-16T01:27:49.955+10:002017-01-16T01:27:49.955+10:00This story is terrifying, simply because I can'...This story is terrifying, simply because I can't even imagine what it's like to forget like that, to relive days over and over, to go through moments of not knowing who other people are, even if I've known them all their lives. And the truly sad thing is, as you say, you might not even notice it happening. To you it might just feel like things getting fuzzier, whilst to the outside observer it might be seen as a rapid decline. They say ignorance is bliss, but I think this sort of ignorance is a form of torture.<br /><br />On another note, I hope that your seizures are manageable, and that your fear is unrealised in the future. Thanks for sharing something so deeply personal!<br />Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com